Appropriate

I know. It's been awhile. And while I have a perfectly good excuse for M.I.B. (no, not Men in Black...Missing in Blogging), today is not the day to share. That story is too introspective for my mood today. Today, I'm feeling like a slacker and need something light and airy and useless in content to keep me from doing work. Besides that, the shit is just funny as hell.

So today I heard two stories that made me wonder if there is really still a such thing as appropriateness. I mean, there was time in my life when there were things that you "just don't do". Like, little girls should never lift up their dresses. You shouldn't pick you nose in public. You shouldn't say "I love you" on the first date. You just.don't.do.it. These rules aren't written anywhere. I think you just instinctively know that they are not okay.

But lately I've been finding that there is a very gray area between what is acceptable and what is not. Things that I drop my jaw to, others don't even lift an eyebrow for. Like when I went to get my hair done a few weeks ago...my stylist was not in and I was desperate. The girl who WAS in the shop I might have left give me a touch-up if it hadn't been for the fact that she asked me if I needed my hair done while digging for gold IN HER NOSE. The girl had no shame! And, she acted as if it were perfectly acceptable for me to walk around with a boogered-coif.

There have been other things too. Like, the welfare mamas who braid hair in the middle of the sidewalk in my neighborhood, in a dining room chair, wearing old house shoes and no bra. Now for some...no bra is okay. If I have on a tight shirt, I can get away with it if it's not too cold outside. But after 6 kids and 300 lbs, that shit should become VERY unacceptable. Just like relocating your inside furniture outside. Just like getting your hair braided in the middle of the damn street! But no one seemed to be bothered by this.

But today...lol...whew...let me catch my breath...

today...today takes the cake.

When in business writing did it become okay to use colloquial language? I mean, they teach business English specifically so a certain standard of written decorum can be maintained. But today, one of my lovely co-workers in Chi-town forwards me the following e-mail message from a corporate executive with a major television network.

Hi J...,
I hope you can answer a question for me.Is there any FLAGGED LANGUAGE in
your tv program?? In the past, it didn't matter so much, but
with the new FCC rules on indecent language, we really need to know this
information. FYI, the only words that we need to know about are (please
forgive me for using them here):shit, fuck, cunt, tits, and all variations of
those words. If any of those words do appear in this show, we'll also need
to know the exact times that they they occur, and your permission to edit them
out.
Thanks again,
K...

(the names have been changed to protect those who need to keep their jobs)

Oh my Lord Jesus have mercy on our souls! What is the world coming to? Now, I have thought this over and I haven't yet figured out how you express this without being vulgar and yet still be clear about what you're trying to convey. But, there's gotta be a way. Put the words in quotes. Bullet them. Make the font a different color. Some-damn-thing to say I know this is bad. When did it become okay to just cuss on paper? Where is the damn FCC when you need them?

And if that wasn't enough for my prim and proper ass...in the same conversation, one of my co-workers tells me about a conversation she has with my boss's aunt (you all remember my crazy, schitzophrenic boss, right) .

Aunt Nutjob: Hi, is CrazyBossLady in?
T: She's out sick today; may I take a message.
Aunt Nutjob: Yes. Please tell her that her
Uncle is very ill and he may not make it much longer. I'm sending her an e-mail. Can you ask her to review her Uncle's obituary and see if it needs any changes.

Is it just me? Since when did it become okay to write somebody off before they leave the earth. Whatever happened to prayer? Why not ask the man to edit his own obit? Ask him what he wants to wear in the box on Monday. Let him approve the catering menu for his reception. Damn! Death be not proud, but can it at least be unexpected? Can God make some decisions around here?

*sigh*

All I know is that I wonder if there will come a time when some good decent values will return to our kind. A time when we will not scratch our asses in public. A time when our children won't ask strangers for money. A time when we won't answer our cell phones in church. Can we please go back to having some shame about ourselves?

Yes...this is my simple Christmas wish.

Happy Holidays, m'dears.